OK, so I probably won't kill off ALL of the misconceptions people have about women (and by people, I mean mostly blokes). I just want to bust the balls of a couple, and have a rant about the difference between bikinis and underwear - of which there is zero difference; we just make a difference because of where we want to wear them.
Numero uno misconception is that women are either total whores or more uptight than nuns when it comes to sex. But then, are men so different? The problem here is that men and women are held to two polar opposite standards, when really, we all have the same kind of libido sex drivey thing.
Not all men go out and have sex with every single woman in sight, or everything that has a pulse, and some women are exactly the same. Women are just as happy to be involved in their own seduction, or they wouldn't spend the entire day getting ready for a Friday night out! Plus, the top bestselling genre of books is ROMANCE - yes, that kind with the impossibly good-looking hunk on the front!
Take the hint people - women enjoy sex just as much as men. It's just the perceptions that men have of women who say "yes" as being whores and the ones who say "no" as chastity-belt-wearing prudes, when it's not necessarily vice versa. It's a case of mixed messages and an inability to communicate in the same value way.
Number two: Men can just ask what women want in a relationship or a potential boyfriend. OH DEAR GOD, HOW WRONG COULD YOU BE???????????? Women will almost always give the same laundry list of good looking, funny, super smart, willing to save a puppy here or a kitten there, but this is all off the top of our heads.
Women want this on a conscious level and will spout this until the end of time because WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WANT. Besides an entirely new wardrobe, but that's beside the point. You'll know she's considering getting pretty serious when we get to the following...
3: Women always play bitchy mind-games. Nope. Nope. NOPE. On the whole, this is mostly biological hard-wiring. Women are "bio-programmed" to test potential mates, hence the flirting, the mind-games, the boundary pushing. It's the exact same thing when men try flirting, muscle-flexing and basically ogling women with Nicki Minaj's boobs and an arse to do J-Lo proud.
The testing is her way of making sure you're worthy of being with her. Plus, and this is something worth taking note of, women are, out of sheer evolution, determined to find a protector - a man with confidence, assertiveness, and strength. Any man who sets a boundary in a relationship and lets it slide when she breaks it, is doomed to fail at that relationship.
Misconception number 4: Women are to blame for failed relationships. Granted, when she's cheated, lied, or stolen from you or done something equally unforgivable, then it really is her fault. But when a guy talks about himself, escalates the relationship sexually too quickly, or is too scared to do that or approach a girl "out of his league", then it's on you, buster!
Unless she's a lesbian, a 12 year old in love with those horrific beings known as Edward Cullen and Justin Bieber, then the chances are she's got a crush on George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. I, for one, am mad about Tom Hiddleston, and he shares something in common with all bar Bieber - THEY'RE ALL OLDER!!! Chances are, the girl you're after is younger than all of them except Bieber, and I'd be worried if she was.
Even in realistic relationships, women shack up with older "uglier", broke men all the time. You're just as likely to get the woman as the next Tom, Dick, or Harry! Women just want a guy to make them laugh, make them feel good and get them a pint of ice cream when Mother Nature's being a bitch!
Five: Women eat like rabbits. Shut. Up. There are PLENTY of women out there who can easily pack away a pizza, hot wings, and most of the garlic bread, and I don't just mean the women who are overweight, massively or otherwise. We've got stomachs too, you know, and we're just as likely to crave steak and chips or a kebab as you!
And then there's the famous thing about women: once a month, we WILL pig out on chocolate and junk food. Any man who's up for a junk-food-fest and his lady's favourite movie will keep her around for a long, LONG time.
Six: Women are gold-diggers. True, some women are out to get you to spend your cash on them, or just nick it and run. But most women aren't like that. Sadly, this is just a very poor, and in some cases insulting excuse some, if not most men use to cover up their own incompetence with women.
98% of the time, women are not looking for a man with money dribbling out of his pockets - the other 2% being women who are specifically looking for that out of their own taste or the archetypal gold digger. Most women can actually support themselves, and just find a man with a steady job and the money and means to take care of them as a bonus to a good relationship.
Now, to be absolutely fair, there are misconceptions that women have about men, like how they supposedly think about sex every five nanoseconds, run from commitment like it's the plague, and only want women with the face of an angel and the body of Marilyn Monroe.
But misconceptions can only lead to two things: Failed relationships and broken hearts, and I can't help but think that they're all born from a kind of fear. A fear that Eleanor Roosevelt sums up wonderfully:
"We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all."
And this is part of the reason I don't really understand flirting. Mostly because I'm a "seduce you with my awkwardness" kind of person, but I also think that flirting's just a nicer way of lying.
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