OK, I'd have to be dickless before I'd not try to be fair to both sides. So sorry, girls, but the guys are going to get talked up now. Germaine Greer, you'd better look away now. Because just like all women, all men aren't all that bad. And while Prince Charming and Mr Right are all myths I probably can't bust, the following are just a sack of rubbish:
1) Men aren't emotional.
Granted, men aren't about to burst into tears at a Mr Darcy movie. Guys like Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris aren't going to tear up at the opening credits to Downton Abbey.
It's not that they aren't emotional, but for men, masculinity is about not emoting on a regular basis - so they might let off steam once a month as opposed to once a day for women, but while women will let off little puffs every day, men will let off a cloud, and then be just fine.
Men are a bit like the internal parts of a car - to people with degrees in Engineering, they're perfectly understandable; to everybody else, they're good to look at, but are so complex under the surface that you'll blow every damn fuse you have, plus the spares.
A word to the wise, though, guys - it takes more balls to admit your feelings than to bottle them up.
2) Men hate commitment
Ding ding - wrong! OK, like with men and their feelings, masculinity is a little to blame for this one, because it's always like "be tough, be strong - put your emotions back in their box!"
Just bear in mind that men, for all their shows of wanting freedom and independence, just might value loyalty most of all. So if your guy's holding off just that little bit, a show of how much you've got his back, might just clinch it for him to open up - and while they won't be the traditional bunch of roses or Mr Darcy declaring his love on bended knee, they will be gestures of feeling nonetheless
3) Men don't communicate
Not true! Men like to talk, and some research shows that men talk a little more than women. It's just a question of men having a built in censor that's wired to how they think a woman will react to a deeper, more genuine honesty. If they don't think it'll slide, men won't bother saying it.
Just because a bloke doesn't mention it, it doesn't mean his internal life isn't interesting. It's a question of suspending judgement that will get him to reveal more of himself.
4) Guys can't or won't take criticism.
OK this one is kind of down to us, girls, because we're kind of wired to talk around the issue. As a result, said criticism is rarely delivered to our guys in a way they'll understand. Just because you get into his face every now and then and actually speak your mind, it doesn't mean he's going to pull a runner! And if he does, then more fool him.
If you're serious about a relationship, then a tough love conversation is worth the risk of seriously offending either or both parties just to clear the air.
5) Men want sex - period.
Yeah, and I want a house built out of dry sand. Just because your boyfriend isn't a sex addict who blows your mind in the bedroom every five seconds, it doesn't make him less of a man.
Frankly, men are just like the rest of us, and it's no less normal for them to choose chilling out over sex than it is for women. And besides - who says it won't spice up the times you do have sex? We all know what they say - less is more!
6) Men only want to date beautiful, dirty idiots.
Yeah, tell that to couples like Pierre and Marie Curie (who both reached fame in scientific circles)! There's different kinds of beauty, and acting stupid just because society infantalizes women is not the way to get a lasting relationship with a genuine man.
Any man worth a damn wants a girlfriend who, yes, looks like she could turn a few heads, but also has a brain she knows how to use, and interests and goals that don't necessarily involve him.
And yeah, OK, sometimes guys are or can be intimidated by smart powerful women - but it's the kind of intimidation that walks hand in hand with respect which, to me, is nothing but all kinds of good. And if you keep asking for his jacket when you're cold or keep forgetting your purse or your underwear, your boyfriend becomes your babysitter, and they won't sit around for something they didn't sign up for!
If you're with a guy who wants his girl to act like that, then he's probably pretty immature himself, and that's not always good for you.
So yeah, there are differences between men and women - there always have been, there always will be. Some are just biological - the rest are only cultural, and can easily be broken by keeping an open mind. I find, much like Oscar Wilde, that the cultural ones stem from both and either side:
"Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance."
But to keep a relationship going, and to make your other half into Mr or Mrs Right for You, I think it's worth keeping in mind what Phillip Stanhope, the 4th Earl of Chesterfield, has to say:
"Men as well as women, are more oftener led by their hearts than their understandings."
